Down the rabbit hole! Is study really for me?

I'm back!

So where have I been and what have I been doing?

In the last week of October and first week of November I took study leave for the first time in over 8 years of ordained ministry. In canon law every clergy person is awarded 1 week per year of study leave, to engage in learning, professional developement and continuing education opportunities.

This study week is in addition to 4 weeks of annual leave and expectation of attendance at a spiritual retreat and clergy conference each year. If not taken, then the following year 2 weeks of study may be afforded for a clergy person to make up for the lost occasions (but that's as far as it accumilates).

Having never felt that study leave was truly available to me in the parishes I ministered with in the past - I had 2 weeks up my sleeve. But, what do I mean it wasn't available? It's in the canons right?

Like many clergy, I've been traveling with a critical inner voice which would say things like:

"You already have 4 weeks off each year, and go to conference - and go to retreat - how much more time out of parish life do you want to take?"

Unfortanately that inner voice was often fed by comments around any type of leave that clergy took, from lay folk and other clergy alike:

"You're going away again?" - "Didn't you just get back from holidays/ retreat/ conference?" - "I wish I could be paid to just sit at home and read/go to the sea and be silent too!" - "How does your parish feel about you taking more time out?"

The fact is, we do have a productivity obsession in the Anglican Church and it can be very hard to justify anything that might cost a parish, funds or time from their paid ministers, that isn't productive to the parish in an immediately measurable way. So in the absence of a culture of encouragement, in the past I just didn't make study leave happen, and no one called me on it.  

It was at this years clergy conference that I felt most encouraged to actually take this time of refreshment and stimulation and to take it in a way that suited my learning style. Movement toward greater clergy wellbeing was the focus at clergy conference, and it led many of us to reflect on how it is that we are enabled to do our impossible jobs and remain intact and healthy.

For me the rest of the wellbeing stuff was already built in:

• Prayer habits to bookend my days, morning - afternoon and evening meditation and contemplation,
• Regular down time on days off that are truly sabbath days,
• Exercise and healthy eating,
• Nurturing relationships with family and friends,
• Regular professional supervision and spiritual direction sessions,
• Collegial engagement with our Cathedral team and deanery,
• Wider diocesan contributions in the Vocations Taskgroup and Equitable Participation Working Group,

- what was missing?... study leave!

Some clergy attend extra conferences with their study leave, use it to begin or attend post-gradute study or to engage with leadership courses. This years clergy conference left me with more than enough conference energy to be getting on with, post-graduate study is not on my agenda at this stage - especially while we are engageing in our Partnership with EDOT, and I have already done a leadership course with QUT in 2020-2021- so none of those were really speaking to me. 

The two things that were speaking to me:

1. Our EDOT program building, creating resources for our Digital Mission Cohort to engage with in October of 2025. Learn more here: EDOT Digital Mission Cohort

2. A plathora of resources that I had been sent or recommended by members of our community and wider Church friends with a focus on disability justice and advocacy in the Body of Christ. 

So that is were I gave my focus and attention for 12 days of intensive time and energy.

And what an experience it has been - down this rabbit hole - I'd like to share some of what I discovered and reveled in with you!

I would begin my mornings listening to the Autism and Theology Podcast | from The University of Aberdeen on a long walk. This was recommended to me by one of our HHO members just intime for me to include it in my study leave - amazing how the Holy Spirit connects us!

After returning home to feed and brush Mash and Star, I would then do a moving meditation in my yoga space and reflect on all that I had heard. 

Sometimes I was moved to delve deeper with some of the books and articles that had been commended in the podcast, other times I would simply pull out my phone and speak my thoughts into the recorder app for safe keeping. 

I didn't get to finish all of the podcasts (as the series has been going for over 12 months now - one session and one "CAT chat" every month) but I have created a new habit and will continue listening to "CAT chat" and the other episodes on my daily morning walks.

The rest of the morning before lunchtime would be spent engaging in content creation and editing of video material for our Episcopal Diocese of Texas | Ministry Partnership. I had originally planned to focus on our first 4 modules, trying to have them polished off at the end of study leave - but to my surprise, so much of what I was exposed to in my study time spoke to all the modules, so I ended up doing a little bit on all 12!

After lunch, I would set myself up with an active listening practice (cross stitching, colouring in, sketching and even painting my nails!) and put the recorded sessions from the Summer School of Theology | EEIT on my TV. Based in Ukraine the summer schools theme this year was:

"Living in the Body: Disability as an Opportunity for Welcoming the Other"

These videos are freely available at the Eastern European Institute of Theology (EEIT) YouTube Channel and are being added as they are edited. 

I began with this session: Brian Brock. Introducing Disability Theology: State of the Discipline and State of Churches and was intruged to find that a lot of the speakers were already familiar to me from the podcast.

It seems that the Centre for Autism and Theology | The University of Aberdeen is very much at the forefront of this movement within the global Church - to see more inclusive and belonging practices built in for neurodivergant people, as well as those living with any form of disability. The second session was from a member of the faculty there too: Léon van Ommen. Liturgy and Worship through the Lens of Autism. A space to keep an eye on for sure!

And then an Aussie popped up: Louise Gosbell. Interpreting the Jesus’ Healing Narratives in Light of Disability Studies It amazes me that the EEIT has all these global speakers and are offering their resources for free online!

Why?

Answer: because when God is calling, someone has to do it!

I am so grateful that EEIT has taken on this call to reform and transform communities through their resources and I am looking forward to engaging with the rest of the videos as they are edited and released (Full playlist here). 

It has been incredibly empowering for the work that I feel called to do alongside our community members at HHO in making church accessible using the vehicle of technology - Accessibility | Help | Holy Hermits Online

We aren't alone!

It turns out there are so many avenues for us to travel alongside others around the world who are also doing this work in creative ways!

I trust that what I have soaked in, during this stimulating time of study leave, will continue to move me towards greater confidence in advocacy and space making in our wider diocesan culture with the Equitable Participatioin Working Group too.

I'm still processing it in light of my own journey of self-discovery, around how being AuDHD and a clergy person, puts me in a unique position of leadership opportunity and responsibility.

My hope is that HHO might host some conversations in 2025 - Listening for the voices of our neurodivergent leaders within the diocese and enable greater understanding to foster change, for the future Church to become more flexible and accomodating to all it's members, so that everyone has the chance to flourish and thrive in community.

Let's see where the Spirit takes us!

Some prayers which I invite you to pray alongside me:

Places of learning (APBA p.206)

God of all truth, teach us to love you with heart and mind.

Bless schools, colleges and universities, especially the Eastern European Institute of Theology and The Centre for Autism and Theology at The University of Aberdeen,

that they may be lively centres for sound learning, new discovery, and the pursuit of wisdom.

May all who teach and all who learn seek and love the truth,

and in humility look to you, the source of all wisdom and understanding,

through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen.

Partnership Prayer

Holy Trinity, source of all creativity, mission and pioneering partnerships, 

Please encourage and inspire all involved in the partnership with the Episcopal Diocese of Texas and the Mission Amplification Team, Holy Hermits Online and St John’s Cathedral Brisbane, to establish a mutually successful collaboration. 

We pray that you will provide encouragement to the leaders and organisers of this online mission, in the various phases which the partners will fluidly move through building foundations, creating resources and experimenting bravely together. 

May new friendships and connections flourish over this next exciting time of ministry and outreach together. May all hearts be opened and sustained by your Love in Brisbane, Texas and beyond. May we find new ways of being Church together, and meet you in the virtual space. 

O God, you have made of one blood all the peoples of the earth and sent your Son to preach peace to those who are far off and to those who are near: grant that people everywhere may seek after you and find you in our online communities. May the remote, the isolated, the sick, the travelers, the dual-citizens and the seekers, be gathered to form community together using the vehicle of technology.  

Raise up more people in your worldwide church to pray and to work, to care and to understand, to give to you and to go for you, that your church may grow, your will be done, your kingdom come, and your glory be revealed; Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.